The Death Of You & Me
by StoriesxAboutPain
Summary: Life is very short, and sometimes people live like the will live forever, trying to find a meaning and sense of the life. We forget to live, we forget to love, and we are always running. Logan gets tired of that. Slash & AU. Don't like? Don't read.


**The Death Of You & Me (Kendall/Logan).**

**Summary:** Life it's very short, and sometimes people live like the will live forever, trying to find a meaning and a sense of the life. We forget to live, we forget to love, and we are always running, rushing and pushing... But at the end, Logan gets tired of that. He wants to live.

**Warnings:** T. Mentions of curses, and self-harming. It's based on this song. It's kind of sad, but it has a happy ending, I promise :D

**A/N:** So, I finally got the Noel Gallagher's new CD; and I was listening to all the songs and being the weird girl I am, well this happened in my mind. I don't own the lyrics of the song (uff I wish I did), neither the characters I'm using.

_High tide summer in the city, the kids are looking pretty  
_

I feel the cold breeze impact around my wet cheeks. My deep brown eyes look from top to bottom on the particular big park which is one block of my house.

My eyes are still watching the scene in front of me. I can see the kids playing happily and running free around the grass.

_But isn't it a pity that the sunshine is followed by thunder?  
_

Sometimes, I wonder why, just, _Why?_

It shouldn't be fair for someone of only sixteen years to live things like this.

It shouldn't.

_Why the sea's__been calling out to me?_

Sometimes I wish I was like that.

I wish I was free like those kids, but above all, _happy_.

Free like the birds flying around the sky.

Happy like when you wake up from a beautiful dream and then realizing that a great day expects you.

_Free like the blood running out free from my veins._

Happy and calm like the feel of the pain that the cold razor blade above the skin in my arms provides me.

I certainly never asked for any of this.

When I was seven, I never expected that in ten years I'll be _this_ fucked up.

_I seem to spend my whole life running from people who could be  
The death of you and me_

All those things should've never happened. I never should've felt these things. And now I understand the others. That's why they say falling in love is complicated.

I feel something touching my hand and my eyes look down and I see how a pair of fingers intertwined with mine.

"Logan .." I heard someone seems to speak, but certainly I'm not sure if I actually heard or just imagined.

"Logan." I hear my name being called again and this time I'm sure it's not my imagination.

I look up and I see a pair of green eyes looking intently at my brown ones.

I don't speak, I just listen. There's something about the voice that calms me down.

"You shouldn't let him hit you." His voice sounds broken and sad, and it just makes me want to cry again. His cold fingers touch my skin tenderly, then I feel the pads of his fingertips touching my bruised lip and I close my eyes.

I keep being motionless and he keeps touching me. Now his fingers are touching my sore wrists. Maybe he's right. Oh well, deep inside my head I know he's right.

But I can't do anything. "And you surely need to stop doing this." And I know what he's talking about and it doesn't surprise me he knows.

He knows every single thing about me.

He's my best friend after all.

_'Cause I can feel the storm clouds sucking up my soul  
_

"_You're so stupid!"_ I heard him scream at me.

"_I wish I had a better son!" _

"_You're pathetic!" _

Hit.

"_Disgusting."_

"_Freak." _

Hit.

"_Fag."_

Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.

I close my eyes and press my lips in a tight line every time I hear those words being yelled at me.

They hurt.

I don't know what hurts the most. If him yelling those words, or the fact that it's _him_.

Unconsciously my hands travelled around my face and then I put them on my ears, pressing as if this would let the screams disappear.

_High tide,  
Life is getting faster,  
And no one has the answer,  
I try to face the day down in a new way.  
_

"I'm sorry." I whisper barely blinking, just staring at the trees in front of my eyes. My hands still in my ears.

"What?" He asks and I'm pretty sure he's looking at me with those beautiful big eyebrows raised up in a frown.

"You shouldn't be with someone this messed up." I whisper again, but this time I let the tears fall.

I don't know why I still have tears in my eyes, when I've been crying since hours ago.

"Don't say that." It's all he says and the other thing I know is that he's pulling me into a tight hug. And the thing I don't know is since when I start to sob like if there's no tomorrow.

_The bottom of a bottle is every man's apostle, _

_Let's run away together..  
_

He keeps holding me like he's done it since the last years.

"You should tell your mother." I don't say anything. "He needs to be in jail, you know? Someone who's sick like him should be paying." He ruffles my hair moving the strings from my face.

"I can't do that to my mom." My voice sounds really different, not as I'm used to hear it. And I'm not talking about that it's raspy because of my cries, I mean it sounds lifeless, _broken_.

"We should go." He whispers kissing the top of my head. "You and me. Just us." I shake my head in horror.

"No, Kendall. There's no way I could run from this." My voice is full of fear and the truth is that I'm terrified from even think about it.

_You and me,  
Forever we'd be free;_

"Yes, there is." He tries to assure me but I can't.

I really can't.

I can't even try to imagine what could happen if we get caught doing something like that.

I can't risk it.

"Logan. I can't take it anymore, ok?" He forces me to look at him directly in his eyes. "I can't stand seeing you like this every time that bastard hurts you. I can't." This time there are tears in his eyes. He's so brave, and he knows what he wants. That's why I love him. And I wish I was like him.

But I'm not.

I'm not.

"No." It's the only thing I say before breaking the embrace, and run quickly to my house leaving him there, sitting all alone, and sad.

_Free to spend our whole lives running from people who would be  
The death of you and me  
_

When I return to my house I notice that it's empty.

He's not here.

I run and climb the stairs as fast as I can and when I get to my room, I close the door and lock it.

I throw myself into my bed and I quickly start to sob into my pillow.

I fucked up again.

But this time, I made the damage. I hurt the person I love the most in the world.

I didn't just hurt my best friend, but I also lost him.

I lost my boyfriend.

_'Cause I can feel the storm clouds sucking up my soul  
_

I cried myself to sleep.

The next day I wake up feeling really bad, not only physically, but also sentimentally.

If I felt bad before, I feel worst now.

I'm alone.

He's not with me anymore.

He's going to realize that I'm a worthless piece of nothing, and he will find somebody else. Kendall will never be with me again.

The only thought about it hurt me. I bit my lip.

I'm stupid.

_I'm watching my TV, or is it watching me?_

The next days I find myself staring at the TV in front of me, sitting on the couch, alone.

Well, I don't even know why I'm here. I'm not even focusing on it.

I'm sad.

I'm hurt.

I'm numb.

I'm dead.

_I see another new day dawning, it's rising over me,_

I wake up alone in my bed. He used to escape from his house and climb over my window and spend the night here, with me.

But Kendall hasn't come since that day.

He left me.

He never said it directly to me, because I ignore him at school, and every time I see him. But I'm pretty sure it's over.

It's over._  
_

_And my mortality,  
_

I wish I was dead.

Well, actually I am dead.

He's not with me.

I'm alone.

I used to _feel_ when Kendall was with me.

But not anymore.

He's not with me, and I died.

I died.

_And I can feel the storm clouds,  
_

It was raining when it happened.

I'm lying on the grass were we used to hang out, talk, hug, and kiss, bleeding pretty badly. The cuts are there, and I made them deep, because I want this to be over. I want to rest, to sleep.

I feel the raindrops falling into my body, wetting me completely.

"Logan!" I hear a voice calling my name and I don't move. "Shit, Logan." He curses and then I feel how he makes pressure on my cuts. He wants to stop them from bleeding. I hear clothes being rent and then he's tying my arms, stopping my bleeding.

Why?

He's supposed to be hating me, as much or more than I already do.

_Sucking up my soul .._

"Wake up." He shakes my body. He's trying hard to make me open my eyes. But I don't want to. I want to die. "Logan, please." I hear his broken voice and I notice he's crying.

That's the hardest pain I've ever feel.

I frown. Then I open my eyes only to find his face right in front of me, his green eyes digging holes inside my soul.

I'm about to say something but then I feel how his hand caresses my cheek.

_I love you._ His teary green eyes say to me.

And I return them, not in the same words, but with the same meaning.

"Let's do it. Let's run away." I say.


End file.
